These aren't the files you are looking for.

"We need America to wake up and prioritize Israel" - FBI Director Kash Patel

Good morning all!

I’m sure you all saw the news recently that the intrepid FBI has determined that there really are no “Epstein files”, and that nobody was being blackmailed. I’m sure that this is 100% correct. I guess he killed himself too. There is no reason at all to doubt this information.

"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command" - George Orwell

So…that happened.

Anyway, onto things that I can actually control.

Independence Day and FarmDog© drama

I hope everyone had a great Independence Day, I know we did. The Wife worked for part of the day, then we did barbecue and firework blowie uppie stuff in the evening. FarmDog© is not the biggest fan of the mortars, so I hung out with her in her den while the family did those. Then…off to bed in the AC, because it was stupid humid and hot.

Speaking of FarmDog©, here she is channeling Steve McQueen on her new bike!

Here she is with one of her assistants

As my more seasoned readers know, part of her contract for season two required 15% more pictures of FarmDog©. And string cheese.

Her agent—Hollywood veteran and noted tantrum enthusiast Les Grossman, released a statement through a cloud of profanity and cigar smoke:

“You want ratings? You give my client the string cheese. All of it. Not some of it. Not the bargain-brand crap. I’m talkin’ full-fat, deli-cut, free-range Wisconsin dairy magic. Or we walk. You understand me?”

Early Season Two metrics show FarmDog© is crushing it in the 18–34 demo, with especially strong growth among rural homesteaders, conspiracy podcasters, and single-issue voters whose issue is “dogs with jobs.”

To maintain momentum, Grossman insists FarmDog© receive more hero shots, slow motion action sequences, and a dedicated “bark button” on the production console.

More photos are expected immediately. Viewer demand is ruff.

Get it?…’cause its “ruff”….get it? ‘Cause its rough, but it’s also “ruff” like a dog…Get it?

I’ll be here all night folks.

Garden Update

As of now, Tomatoes, lettuce, and various herbs are now in season.

These are San Marzano tomatoes. Wonderful for sauces and pretty good for salsas too.

Various herbs:

What do we got in there….. Two kinds of thyme, parsley, cilantro, German chamomile, dill, basil, and a second oregano plant.

Here is a pear update!

Still alive! It’s gonna be so good.

Here are the first cucumbers. They look kinda weird right now, but just wait.

Life Update

So… it’s monsoon season right now. It rains like this in the summer.

The heavy part of the storm already passed through when I shot this on Tuesday. The storm only lasts for about a half an hour or so, but we get like an inch in that period of time. Its been a pretty damn wet year so far. I guess its rained 43% of the days this year, according to our local market weatherman who totally doesn’t remind me of the weather guy from Anchorman. totally.

I’m still working for the Peoples Glorious Safety Factory #24. Its work, ya dig. I’m happy to have it but I am looking for more - as a part of the “Secret Evil Plan”.

The Wife is still working over at Bushwood. She rides her bike in most days now. I took her out for a “business meeting” earlier today on her day off.

That’s the great thing about being business owners. When you talk about work, you get to write this stuff off. We discussed her textile empire and marketing. By the way, if you happen to have one of her products you are supposed to send pictures. They are needed for marketing.

Wrapping up

That’s about all I have for this week.

Stay tuned, as I have a feeling that the FarmDog(g) drama may just be heating up. Wouldn’t want to miss the drama.

This is a cliffhanger used to draw you in next week. We learn these things in influencer school.

For those of you who are premium members of this blog, and frankly just better people, part 2 of Project AdventureDog© will be dropping the Saturday. You have have that to look forward to. For those of you who want to become better people, you can upgrade your subscription at any time. The only thing stopping you is you.

Here are your memes for the week.