Summer

"I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass" - David Lee Roth

Yeah, something like that. What is it they say…. its not the heat, it’s the humidity. Its true.

I hope you all appreciated the break from me last week. Breaks over, I’m back.

But I’m really a nice guy.

It’s been a long day and I’m not at the top of my game, but I owe my loyal readers a story. And….a story you shall have. It’s going to be worth twice what you paid for it - I promise. Like I’ve been telling my kids for years ”It’s important to be able to express yourself (bullshit) in the written language”. So….here we go.

First off: My wife is funny.

That is funny. Either you get it, or you don’t.

So we aren’t really doing a whole lot during the day…..’cause its hot. Damn hot. In the evening we go outside. For my gentle readers who haven’t spent much time in the midwest or the south, I’m gonna break it down Barney style for ya. It’s not that it’s hot here (although it is) it’s the humidity that gets ya. Once the humidity reaches a certain level, sweating no longer cools you off. You just get wet. Same thing with a shower. Its hard to dry off after a shower. Don’t that sound fun?

I made this on Sunday.

Yes children, that’s Greek pizza. Souvlaki chicken, mushrooms, red & green peppers, olives, cheese, and a herbed oil base on the dough. Its good. Have I ever mentioned that I’m a damn good cook? Modest too.

We went to the river on Monday and tried to cool off a bit. It kinda worked. These worked WAY better. Complete with the little umbrella to keep the rain out of the booze.

My Pina Colada is tits….I’m just sayin.

On Wednesday morning around 2 a thunderstorm came through and I’m pretty sure the property was struck by lightning. Like for real. We needed the little bit of rain that came with it. And the humidity was gone like all day. Its awesome!

We spent the whole day going up to visit our Niece who graduated tech school for the Air Force today. Luckily it was on an Army base about three hours from here, so we were able to do that for her and the rest of the family. Its nice to see that after 20 something years that the officers still hold everything up by not showing up on time. My enlisted readers know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. Nothing like waiting around for 45 minutes on a Friday afternoon for the “leadership” to remember that there is a place they are supposed to be…. But enough about me.

While we were on the base I was able to show my kids this.

Yes, that’s a real piece. 33 years ago he would have been shot for standing on the wall like that.

For those of you too young to remember, here’s a little ditty about it. Johnny Rotten will learn ‘ya.

Yes, the song is actually about the wall…

Or if we need to be all serious about it, try this one.

So that was life for over 30 years. Luckily, all that is over and we get to be friends with the Russians now - oh….never mind.

We got home about 9 pm and almost immediately I had to shoot a snake. Sorry fella, you just chose the wrong yard to set up shop in.

Well, that’s about all I got for this week. I’ll do better next week. Until next time, enjoy this weeks’ salty meme. You stay classy, Planet Earth.