Springtime in the Ozarks

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it" - Winston Churchill

Greetings, friends and enemies.

So… springtime is in full swing here. The gardens are coming along, the firewood is almost complete for the upcoming “winter”, we have already been swimming in the lake, snakes are out, and storm season is upon us.

The little lady has already sent one copperhead to the great beyond - Ice Cube style. Straight popped a cap in it’s ass. Or like 13 caps.

For those who don’t know, the South and the Midwest get some pretty harsh thunderstorms in the spring. Something about cool-ish wet weather from the west coast (over the Rockies) impacting the hot and moist air from the gulf of Mexico and…..WHAM!

But like the bad kind, not the early 80s boy band……oh wait, they sucked too. Choose Life.

Earlier this year I took a weather spotter class with the National Weather Service, and have been learning to read the weather radar. I’ve learned fancy sounding smart people words like “mesoconvective”, “dry line”, and “discrete supercell”. Did I mention I went to community college? I don’t mean to brag but, I have those fourth level critical thinking skills® that are so highly sought after according to my guidance counselor. In the words of Ron Burgundy “I’m kind of a big deal”.

I guess the storm that got to us early Tuesday morning wacked the shit out of a small town in Oklahoma. That sucks. Luckily for them, the storms look to be heading east for Wednesday. Not too good for us though…

Always look on the bright side of life.

What else is going on….

Well, the wife has been busy developing her textile empire. Think “Scarface” only without the yayo and the ultraviolence. Well at least no Colombian marching powder. I’m not going to rule out the ultraviolence. Remember who was popping caps just the other day. Anyhooo the logo has been finalized, and the first order of schwag is on the way!

Isn’t that just nifty? Free sticker with every order, justsayin. She will be selling T shirts soon.

The kids are finishing up school for the year. The Boy will be done with high school Thursday. Complete. Finished.

The kids are ready to be done with school for the year and will be bored the very next day I’m sure.

We did a service on Farm Quad over the weekend..

Yes, that’s what it takes to change the damn oil.

For those of you who have no experience in “motorsports”, I’ll try to explain. It’s not unusual to have to disassemble major components or remove ALL THE PLASTIC to do dumb things like oil changes or put in new batteries. By the way, the spark plug for this beast is under the fuel tank. That’s some good engineering right there.

You will be happy to know the damn thing took a dump on me halfway down a trail the very next day, along with the chainsaw on a stick. Within like 5 minutes of each other. Motor fucking seized. We just finished spending money on the gorram thing! That was so. much. fun. to push the damn thing up to the shop. In the rain. The boy got it running again later that night by basically slamming the starter button again and again until she ate the metal bits jamming the flywheel. Take that! We got a flat tire the following day. Dammit! This is why we have tire patch kits and the knowledge to use it.

Toys are cool, but skills are better.

I’m starting work on my table saw / work table for the shop. I have most of the plan drawn up and I’m printing out all the dust collection bits & bobs along with cord reels and various other parts. It’s still nice to not have to go to the store for parts.

These parts take time to print. I figure an entire week of parts printing - assuming nothing goes square shaped..

Hopefully I’ll be able to start construction on the table in the next few days.

Anything else? Oh yeah, I’m signing up for the Amazon Affiliate program. Being the cynical cold hearted capitalist that I am, I intend to extract wealth from the proletariat one way or another. And as it turns out, that Bezos guy has everything. If I’m approved I’ll be posting a link to our affiliate page and occasionally be putting up products that we either use, or or we think kicks ass. Y’all will need to buy some stuff and get me into the lifestyle I want to become accustomed to.

I guess that’s it for the week. So I will close out with my political meme of the week. See you next time on “This ‘ol Crackhouse”